


Secret Love

by Marblez



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Homophobia, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 10:27:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2188323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marblez/pseuds/Marblez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Jasson is set to marry the Crown Princess of a country that Tortall is forming an alliance with. </p><p>There's only one problem...he's in love with her brother. </p><p>Summary sucks. Story Better. SLASH</p><p>(originally posted on fanfiction.net)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own most of this, the wonderful Tamora Pierce does. Blessa and the people of Bless I do own as I created them.

**Warnings: Slash and towards the end a bit of violence and blood.**

A Secret Love

**Chapter 1/4.**

"I can't believe you're going to marry a girl you've never even set eyes on. Just because father wants you to," Lianne grumbled as she and her closest brother walked the palace gardens together. When they'd been growing up it had often happened, mostly accidentally, that their elder brother Liam had been separated from them. He was the Crown Prince, he would be King one day while the two younger children would only ever be Prince and Princess, they didn't have to worry that one-day they would rule. So the two had become the closest of siblings and the closest of friends. They shared everything and seemed to be always together. "I mean what if she's horrible? What if you hate her? What if she's ugly?"

"Lianne!" Jasson half laughed, half scolded. He wasn't that shallow. "And I am going to marry her for the alliance of our two countries."

"Well if it were me I wouldn't do it. I'm determined to marry love and nothing less," Lianne said, slipping her arm through her brothers, "And you'll be so far away! I'll hardly ever see you! Who else will I tell all my troubles to?" Jasson laughed loudly, squeezing her thin arm with his own.

"You'll manage," he told her with a smile, "And I'm afraid marrying for love is something that everyone else can do, not we Royals. We must set aside our hopes and dreams and marry for duty, honour and the welfare of our country." As he spoke he'd adopted the deep and slow tone of their tutor, repeating the words he'd said to them many a time in their lessons about the etiquette and manners of the Royal Court. Lianne laughed her sweet little laugh. "But who knows, I might fall in love with my intended. The Crown Princess whatshername."

"Ellen," Lianne supplied.

"Crown Princess Ellen. She could be the love of my life for all I know," Jasson finished. Of the three Conte children he had always been the cheerful one, always the one to say the positive things about a negative situation. He was also far too nice for his own good and Lianne had often had to step in and stop people taking advantage of him when they were growing up. Even now that they were young adults she still had to step in every now and then.

"I've heard she's ill," Lianne said seriously, "The gossip is…"

"Gossip?" Jasson asked, his eyebrow raising and making him look even more like his father than he did already.

"Yes the court gossip. They say that she's got a sickness of the lungs that no physician has been able to cure. She could die before you get there," Lianne informed him, completely serious. "What would happen then?"

"I guess I'd marry the younger Princess. Princess whojaflip," Jasson was terrible with names, always had been, always would be.

"Bethany? She's younger than me!" Lianne gasped, shocked.

"There's just no pleasing you is there?" Jasson laughed.

"Not with anything to do with you moving away. Nothing but you staying here will please me," Lianne said dramatically. "Do you know how boring it's going to be with you gone? I'll have to spend time with the ladies in court and they're a couple of hours every other day but every day, for the whole day? I'll go mad!"

"You'll be fine," Jasson said softly.

"Your majesties?" a young servant bowed politely as he reached them in the garden, "His Majesty the King requests your presences in the thrown room."

"Thank you, we'll be there shortly," Jasson said to the servant who bowed again and hurried away to continue with his duties. "This will probably be to announce the final arrangements of this alliance," he said as the pair turned back towards to palace. "The nitty gritty details."

"Can we make this walk last as long as possible then? I don't want to hear the final arrangements taking you away from me," Lianne said sadly.

"You are such a Drama Queen," Jasson laughed.

"Princess, Drama Princess. Remember I'll never be Queen," Lianne sang.

"Drama Princess then," Jasson conceded. Their walk back took as long as Lianne could get it to but eventually they reached the thrown room, entering the grand room calmly when the servants opened the doors for them. As Jasson had thought it was to go over the last details of the alliance, the confirmed date for the King, Queen and Jasson to leave for the other country where the marriage would take place. They would be leaving in two weeks, the marriage would take place in three months and they would return a month after than. Liam would be left in charge until they returned, a test almost to see how he would cope when he was King. Not that he was going to be King for a while, Jon had no plans of dying.

"Two weeks left with my best friend," Lianne sighed as the family meeting came to close, causing everyone to smile fondly at her, "Well we'll just have to fit a lot in then wont we? Come on Jasson, things to do before you go!" Grabbing his hand she skipped from the room, pulling him along with her.

"How will she manage without him I wonder," Jon said quietly to his wife as Liam left too to find his friends. "Those two have never been a part before."

"She'll be fine. She's our daughter and she's made of tougher stuff than she looks," Thayet said confidently. "It's Jasson I worry about, so far from home, surrounded by people he doesn't know and doesn't trust."

"He'll learn to trust them and they'll learn to trust him," Jon said, taking his wife's hand as they walked down the hall, "And you don't think I'll just abandon him do you? I'm afraid there will many a visit to suffer through."

"Of course I didn't but I am glad to hear you say that," Thayet admitted with her beautiful smile, "Now I must go and see how my gown is coming along, the one I have commissioned for the wedding. We must look our best for these people, show them what Tortal's people are made of."

"That we must my love, that we must."

A crowd gathered to see them off, stretching from the palace doors right the way down to the very edge of the city. It was no surprise that Lianne was in tears as she hugged her brother goodbye. The group rode hard, the three members of the royal family surrounded by men of the Kings Own and Knights of the realm at all times. When the sky started to darken they made camp by a stream meaning that they were able to water the horses and bath themselves. The tents were erected in a close pattern as quickly as possible, being put so close together so that the patrol of the perimeter would need only three men at all times instead of six. Food was prepared and eaten and then everyone retired to their beds.

When they woke the next morning it was raining heavily and they struggled to strike camp and get on their way. Within minutes they were all soaked through. The rain continued for the next five days, as if Tortall itself was sad to be saying goodbye to one of it's Princes. Everyone was greatly relieved when the rain ended and the sun came out once more. They rode hard each day and soon found themselves passing through Galla, an ally of theirs already. Even though it was sunny for the rest of their journey the temperature dropped and dropped and dropped. Soon they found themselves riding through freshly fallen snow and riding around the bases of snow-covered mountains. Eventually they reached Blessa, the country North of Galla and the country they were hoping to make an alliance with and then two days after that they reached Lyndos, the capital city.

They tried not to look wide-eyed as they rode through the extremely different city. It was market day in the lower city and therefore it was extremely crowded. Every now and then they would have to stop their mounts and wait for the people to move out of their way. The streets emptied a little when they reached the middle level of the city and people started bowing and curtseying to them, these people realising just who they were. By the time they reached the highest level of the city before the palace the news had obviously reached them that they were coming and the people were lined up ready to greet them. They were all dressed elaborately and their bows and curtseys were ridiculously sophisticated.

The palace had a high wall around it and they rode through the open gates to more people there to greet them, a mixture of servants in smart uniforms and members of the Royal Court in bejewelled clothes. As they approached the white marble steps a man was rushing down to great them, his fur lined cape billowing out behind him and his big gold chain bouncing on his chest.

"Welcome to Lyndos you're highnesses," he said loudly, bowing deeply to them, "The boys will see to your mounts." He clicked his fingers and boys the party could only assume were stable boys rushed out to take the horses reigns while they all dismounted. They could only assume, as they were dressed as smartly as all the other servants, not a fleck of dirt on their whit shirts and not even dust on their grey leggings. "I am Lord Rhyn Du Merc, the Prime Minister. I will take you threw to the throne room where our Royal Highnesses are waiting to greet you."

"Why are they here to meet us?" Jasson asked politely as he and his parents walked up to Lord Rhyn Du Merc, "Is that not the custom here?"

"It is normally but the Crown Princess has caught a chill and their highnesses don't want her going outside in the cold air," Lord Rhyn Du Merc said, gesturing for a servant to open the doors to the palace before leading them all inside.

"Wow," Jasson couldn't stop himself breathing as they were led through the elaborate halls of the palace, so much grander than the Tortallan palace. While theirs was historical and mostly practical the Blessan palace was beautiful, there was no other word to describe it. Oh it had its practical moments, the defences for instance but everything had been designed with only one think in mind, beauty.

"These portraits are of the Royal Family since this palace was built," Lord Rhyn Du Merc said proudly as they walked down a hall that looked like it would never end. On both sides of the hall large paintings hung, some group portraits, some individual portraits. It was like walking through the history of this land, the different fashions and hairstyles changing with each painting. "And this is our current Royal Family. It was painted nine years ago when the younger Princess, Princess Meredith turned a year old."

They stopped for a moment to study the painting of those they were about to meet. The King and Queen were both beautiful in their own ways but he also looked strong and battle worthy. In the painting they were both looking lovingly at the babe in the Queen arms whilst around them their three children tried to look too. Jasson found himself looking at the image of his bride to be when she had been younger. She had light hair almost the colour of corn and her eyes were a deep green in the painting. But while her cheeks were flushed her skin was pale and she was thin, especially when compared to the two other children in the painting. Finally they moved on to meet them in person. For about twenty paces there were no painting on the walls, spaces left for paintings of the future. Then just before they came to some ornate wooden doors there was one more painting that Lord Rhyn Du Merc stopped them to look at.

"This is a portrait of the old palace that was here before this one. See how it's all made out of wood and thatch. Her Royal Highness Queen Salina has this painting displayed here to remind us of how much we have improved," Lord Rhyn Du Merc explained calmly.

"What happened to the old palace?" Thayet asked, liking the look of the little palace in the picture, surrounded by huts that looks the same and people in practical clothes going about their daily business.

"It was burned to the ground in a battle ten years before building work on this palace began," Lord Rhyn Du Merc explained before nodding to the two armed guards on either sides of the doors. Together they pulled on the large gold handles and pulled the doors open so that they could all enter the throne room. "Their Royal Highnesses King Jonathon of Tortall, Queen Thayet of Tortall, Prince Jasson of Tortall and their guests," Lord Rhyn Du Merc announced loudly before bowing deeply to the five people sat on the gold thrones opposite the door.

King Rupert rose slowly and walked down the steps of the dais as the Tortallans moved across the large floor between the door and the thrones. They met in the middle and he embraced Jonathon tightly.

"Welcome to my Kingdom King Jonathon," he said loudly as he pulled away, "I hope your journey went well."

"It did. Thank you," Jonathon said, a little quieter as he recovered from the unexpected hug. King Rupert turned to Thayet then and took her hand in his, bowing and pressing his lips to her smooth skin.

"You have a beautiful wife," he said as he straightened back up. The Tortallans noticed that his own family still remained on their thrones, watching the greetings from a distance.

"As do you King Rupert," Jonathon said, looking up at the Queen he spoke of. She smiled warmly at him.

"That I do, that I do. We are lucky men are we not?" King Rupert asked with a loud belly laugh. "And this must be your son who is to marry my wonderful daughter." He turned and held his hand out to Jasson who shook it quickly. "Ellen, come here," King Rupert ordered loudly, not even turning his head. The Tortallans watched as the Crown Princess, wrapped in a thick blanket was assisted to her feet by her brother and then helped down the steps to stand to the right of her father. "Say hello to your fiancé Ellen."

"Greetings Prince Jasson," she said, her voice weak, "I am sorry I am not in a better condition to greet you but I have caught a chill." She stumbled slightly and her brother caught her with an arm around her waist. Neither of them suggested sitting her down again though as King Rupert smiled at Ellen, then Jasson.

"They will look good together will they not?" he asked cheerfully, slamming his hand down on Jasson back and making him stumble slightly.

"Yes, they will," Jonathon said quietly, looking at the sickly girl worriedly. She looked like a strong breeze would knock her down as she coughed discretely into her hand. Her brother on the other hand was the picture of health.

Jasson knew he should say something, return her greeting but he couldn't get his mouth to work. He could only stare as his heart beat faster, as the blood rushed to his cheeks, as he fell head over heels in love…with Prince Conner of Blessa.

A/N There we go. First chapter. I was watching 'The Other Bolyn Girl' and this idea popped into my head. Hope you liked it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own most of this, the wonderful Tamora Pierce does. Blessa and the people of Bless I do own as I created them.

**Warnings: Slash and towards the end a bit of violence and blood.**

A Secret Love

**Chapter 2/4.**

The affair had started, if they were honest, at the welcoming ball that first night. They'd spent the whole time talking to each other in a darkened corner of the room, pretending to be talking about battle and strategies. In reality they had just…talked. About anything. And through it all, aware of it or not, they flirted. When the last dance arrived long after midnight King Rupert insisted that Jasson and Ellen danced together for the first and last time that evening. So Jasson had left Connor and taken Ellen onto the floor for a gentle waltz.

"I'm glad you and my brother are getting on," she said as they danced.

"He is a very intelligent young man," Jasson said, careful not to give too much away about what would be seen as his disgusting and unholy feelings, "He will be a great King one day."

"But he won't be King," Ellen said with a little laugh, not a nasty one though, "Don't you know? Our Kingdom is ruled by the female bloodline." Jasson blinked down at her. "The ruling monarch, the one with all the power is the Queen. In Blessa the King and Queen roles of your country are pretty much reversed. It is the men who marry into their title. The women are born into it."

"Oh," Jasson mumbled. They'd assumed that Blessa was ruled similar to Tortall. Obviously not. And then a sudden though hit him like a ton of bricks, "Oh Gods. That means you'll-you'll be…I'll…"

"I'll be Queen and you'll be King. If I live that long," Ellen said with an amused giggle that turned into a little cough, "And in the event of my death you'll marry Bethany who will become Queen in my stead. There's a plan of all eventualities." She laughed, almost to herself this time, "I think you're the first man to marry into our family that hasn't married with the title first and foremost in his mind, my father included. Makes a nice change."

"But…" Jasson's brain was still trying to process this dump of information. He was going to be the King of Blessa one day! He wasn't meant to be a King; he was the second son! "Right…well…"

"Don't worry. Like I said it's the Queen that's in charge. You'll just be the second in command," Ellen said reassuringly before turning her face away and coughing deeply into her shoulder. "And at this rate it'll be Bethany making all the decisions for you. I haven't got that long left."

"You're not very positive about your illness are you?" Jasson asked.

"I have no reason to be."

The last dance ended and the people began to depart in their carriages while the two Royal Families retired to their various suites. Jasson found a bath waiting for him, steam curling up in the cold night air. Stripping quickly her sighed in bliss as his body slipped into the hot water, instantly soothing the taught muscles from the long journey. Soon he was dozing and barely noticed when the servant came into the room and gathered up his clothes from where he'd dropped them on the floor.

He returned to reality when the water stated to cool, forcing him to get out or risk catching a chill. Wrapping a thick towel around his waist he walked into the bed chamber of his suite, droplets of water falling from his uppers body, his hair and his legs as he walked. He found his sleeping clothes laid out neatly on the comfortable bed and after drying himself off he pulled them on quickly.

Slipping into his bed he sighed at the feel of the soft silk sheets, a luxury that at home was enjoyed only by the ladies of court. They felt heavenly. Snuggling down into the big pillows he closed his eyes and soon he was lost in a wonderful and quite erotic dream about himself and Prince Connor.

The servant who came in to collect the towel and blow out the candles heard the moans from the bed and smiled. It was pure luck that it was only after he left that the name 'Connor' could clearly be heard, moaned in the throes of passion. Very lucky indeed.

Two days after their arrival whilst out on a riding trip with Prince Connor the affair and really 'started'. It was just the two of them, away from the pressures of the city and the Royal Court. They'd stopped for lunch, sitting under a tall tree surrounded by ankle deep snow. Somehow the conversation had moved onto the subject of marriage, the one arranged for Jasson and the one arranged for Connor. And then from there they'd talked about their new friendship, their new relationship and what it could be…

And that was when Jasson had given in and kissed him.

Their plan for a ten minute stop for lunch disappeared as Connor eagerly pulled Jasson onto his lap so the kiss could continue, could build into one much more passionate. Their breath came in excited pants as their hands roamed over each other bodies, squeezing, exploring, teasing. Clothes were pulled off roughly, neither cared about the bitter cold any more, they only cared about their passion. And they explored that passion, they gave everything for that passion and they broke the rules for that passion.

She'd said it was going to happen and when it did happen, it happened suddenly. A week after their arrival Jasson had been walking the palace halls with Ellen who was definitely not allowed outside now that the 'heavy snow' had begun to fall. They'd been talking about their on-coming wedding and the traditions behind it when she'd found it completely impossible to breathe.

"Ellen?" Jasson asked worriedly, her hand was now pressing over her heart.

"I-I-I can't-" she gave a painful sounding gasp, her eyes rolled up into her head and her legs seemed to give out beneath her. Jasson somehow managed to catch her before she hit the ground and cradled her gently in his arms as she came round again, gasping in tiny breaths of air and clutching at the neck of her gown, trying to loosen it.

"Help! I need help!" he shouted as loudly as he could while dropping down onto his knees, "Ellen.." She looked up at him with fear filled eyes, tears building up in the corners, "Please! I need help!"

"I'm…sorry…" she whispered, still gasping pathetically in a vain attempt to get her stubborn lungs to work, "Tell…everyone…I'm…sorry…and…that…I…lo-" She went limp, her eyes staring up at him now lifeless.

"Prince Jasson!" a servant gasped as he reached them.

"Find the King and Queen, tell them…tell them that the Princess is dead," Jasson found that his voice shook as he spoke to the servant whose look of shock grew worse as he finished speaking. "I will take her to her rooms…"

The servant took off at a run as Jasson lifted the dead weight of his fiancé's body, standing slowly. Her arms hung limply at her side and over his shoulder, swaying as he walked slowly towards her suite of rooms. People who saw them had obviously heard the news, hats were removed out of respect and tears dripped down most peoples cheeks. He arrived at the room mere seconds before the King who froze in the doorway as Jasson laid her body down on the bed.

"Your Highness…" Jasson said softly, going to the man shaking in the doorway, "I am so sorry." A fat tear fell from the Kings eye as he moved to kneel beside the bed, his shaking hand reaching out to touch her cooling cheek, "She said…she said she was sorry and that she loved everyone…"

"Oh my darling girl, you don't have be sorry," he said softly, carefully closing her eyes. Now it seemed like she was only sleeping. A wail told them that the Queen had arrived, throwing herself down on the other side of the bed.

"Not my Ellen! You cannot take my Ellen!" she wailed, screaming up at the ceiling as if screaming at the Gods themselves. Jasson turned to leave as Bethany, Meredith and Connor stumbled into the room. "Please not my Ellen…"

"Ellie," Meredith sobbed tearfully, going to her mothers side. The Queen pulled her against her side as they both wept. Bethany walked up behind King Rupert, playing her soft hands on her fathers shaking shoulders as silent tears dripped down her cheeks. To Jasson it seemed she was in shock.

And then there was Connor who looked so worried and upset that Jasson was sorely tempted to throw his arms around him and hold him close, damning the consequences. But he didn't.

"I'll just…leave you with…her," he said quietly. No one answered him but he felt Connor's eyes on him as he left the room. He walked back his room in silence, passing his parents on the way. He accepted their gentle hugs in silence before leaving them. Once inside his chambers he sat on his bed and all the facts hit him like a brick. His fiancé was dead. He was going to marry Bethany, the second Princess, a girl who he didn't know very well at all. And he was having an affair with her brother…He was going to be the worst kind of Kings. A Liar. Talk about setting a "good" example.

_Knock! Knock!_

"Enter!" he called out automatically, looking up as the door opened and Connor entered. He jumped up from the bed as his lover entered, his hands shaking as he went to shut the door behind him. "I'm sorry for your loss your highness."

"As am I for yours," Connor said quietly as he shut the door firmly. Once the outside world was blocked out they dropped the formality and flew into each others arms, holding tight and breathing in each others comforting scent.

"I'm sorry," Jasson whispered in Connors ear, "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. We've been…prepared for this for a while," Connor said sadly before turning his head and stealing a kiss from the man he loved with all his heart. "Oh I needed that. But I'm afraid there is a serious reason that I came here…we need to talk about Bethany."

"Yes. We must talk about Bethany. She is to be Queen now," Jasson said quietly as he led his lover to his bed, guiding him down onto it. The two lay beside each other, holding each other close for comfort. "Ellen warned me that the marriage between our two families, our two countries would still take please even if…even if she died."

"Yes you are to marry Bethany. It will be announced the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow the city will be in mourning for Ellen," Connor said, his voice sounding choked. "But it is not the marriage I want to talk about. It is Bethany herself. She is much more observant than Ellen. She will put two and two together and with too many clues she will figure out…everything."

"I understand," Jasson said, turning on his side and curling up against Connor, "But we'll all right, won't we? You don't want what we have to end do you?" He looked at Connor worriedly, biting his lip.

"Of course I don't. I-I am falling in love with you. No, that's not right. I am in love with you. There is no falling about it, not now," Connor said passionately, pulling Jasson closer to him and kissing his lips. "I love you."

"You love me?" Jasson asked breathlessly.

"With every beat of my heart," Connor whispered, "Do you-do you love me?"

"With every beat of my heart," Jasson echoed.

"We will be fine."

"We will be fine."

The entire city dressed in black the following day and everyone, old and young alike came to pay their respect to the Crown Princess. Ellen was dressed in what would have been her wedding gown, laid out in her coffin in the courtyard. All day people crouched by her coffin, bidding her farewell and saying their prayers for her soul. The Royal Family stood beside the coffin all day, silently weeping. Jasson and his parents stood with them.

That evening her coffin was sealed and carried into the Royal Tomb. Tears were shed as the funeral song was sung, as the prayers were chanted, as her coffin was ceiled into the tomb with those of her ancestors. Jasson escorted Bethany back to her room after the funeral as was proper for the now engaged couple but instead of going to his room after he went to Connors. He didn't slip out until dawn.

King Rupert announced the engagement of Bethany and Jasson the next day and a week later they were married. The ceremony was grand and attended by the entire city. Jasson stood silently in front of the alter behind which the Blessa priests chanted softly, watching Bethany walk slowly down the isle of the temple. He was dressed in the splendid clothes of a Tortallan Knight. She was dressed in a long white gown of the finest silk, a gown designed and created in less than a week. It hugged her teenage figure, reminding Jasson that he was marrying a fifteen-year-old girl instead of a young woman.

She trembled with nerves as she placed her hand in his and he squeezed it gently to reassure her. Smiling her thanks to him they both turned to the head priest and the long ceremony of marriage began. They knelt and vowed when they needed to, they held hands and promised to love and obey, the stood when requested, they kissed when it was permitted and they left hand in hand when the ceremony was over. Unlike in Tortall no rings were exchanged in a Blessan marriage.

"Congratulations," Connor said at the celebration ball, hugging Jasson tightly but in as brotherly a way as he could manage, "Come to me when you can but tonight…tonight you must be with her."

"I will think of you," he whispered back, "And I will come to you as soon as is possible." They broke away and mingled with the many hundreds of guests.

"Hello my husband," her voice was soft and he turned to smile down at her.

"Hello my wife," he spoke softly, "You look beautiful."

"You are happy then? That you are with me instead of Ellen?" Bethany asked.

"Of course I am happy," he told her, leaning down to kiss her lips gently. Their first kiss outside of the temple. "Are you happy?"

"Yes. You are very handsome and kind," Bethany answered truthfully, "I could have been married off to a much worse man than you."

"Oh thank you very much," he laughed down at her. She blushed.

"I'm sorry. I…"

"It's ok. I know what you meant," he told her with a smile, "I hope you are ready to help me through the next few years. I know nothing of your protocols and your court life. And I know nothing about being a King."

"Nothing at all?" Bethany asked playfully.

"Only what Ellen told me. I was never meant to be King and I am thoroughly grateful that in your very different society it is the Queen that rules," he told her honestly. She blushed, "You will be a great Queen."

"Ellen would have made a better one," she said softly.

"I don't know about that," he brushed his knuckles down her soft cheek, "I think you will do great things when your time comes."

"And I think that you will help me in every way. You might not have been brought up to be a King, just like I haven't brought up to be a Queen, but together we might be able to pull this off," she smiled up at him.

"Isn't it time you two retired for the night?" Queen Salina asked as she appeared at her daughters side, "It is your wedding night and there is one last piece of the marriage ceremony to be completed." Bethany blushed sweetly,

"Of course mother. Jasson, shall we go up to our rooms now?" she asked, speaking of their new suite for the first time. Jasson nodded and held his arm out for her. It didn't go un-noticed when they left the ballroom together.

Connor got very drunk that night.

"I will bath first," Bethany said quietly as they entered their rooms. Jasson nodded and watched the fifteen-year-old girl as she slipped into the bathroom. He took the time she was splashing about in the bath to explore their new rooms. The servants had moved both of their things in and he found most of them easily. He also noticed that red rose petals had been scattered about the room and on the huge bed. Standing before the huge mirror he stripped off his fine clothes until he was in nothing but his thin white shirt and his loincloth. There was no point prolonging what must happen. As King and Queen they would need an heir.

He heard her climb out of the bath and dry herself with a towel and then she entered the room, wrapped in that towel alone. They stood on the different sides of the bed that would from this night become their sides of the bed and watched each other nervously. He would be her first. She would be his first woman…girl. In the end it was Bethany who moved first, dropping the towel and slipping between the sheets of the bed, her naked body on display only for a moment. Cheeks flushed red she watched him as he pulled the shirt over his head and revealed the muscled planes of his chest. Then he quickly slipped his loincloth down his legs and joined her between the sheets of the bed, the petals on the top sliding around as their bodies created lumps in the fabric.

"This will be my first time," she admitted quietly as they lay awkwardly side-by-side, staring up into the beds canopy above them.

"I will be as gentle as I can," he promised softly, knowing that there was nothing else he could say. His body was reacting on instinct and he was ready to make love. He wished it were Connor lying with him but it was not, it was his young wife. And he would not neglect her; he would not use her out of duty alone. She would enjoy their times together. Slowly he rolled onto his front and knelt up slightly so that he could move between her shaking legs, "Do not be afraid."

"I'm not…"

Their lovemaking was slow and as gentle as he could manage. She cried out in pain at first like he had the first time her brother had taken him. But then like always in the act of love making her cries turned into those of pleasure, as she became a woman. It didn't take long for either of them to reach their fulfilment and then they slept, curled together in the centre of the petal-covered bed.

It was two days before Jasson could find an excuse to be alone with Connor and then it was going for a ride together. Well they did ride…to the forest where they then proceeded to break Jasson's matrimonial vows for the first time. Both were filled with guilt at hurting Bethany in such a way but their love was too much, they couldn't stop what was happening in their hearts.

They fell into a pattern quickly, going on hunting trips and rides so that they could spend time together. Connor ordered a cabin be built deep in the forest for them when their 'hunts' went on for too long and it was too late for them to return home. To their friends and family it was their hunting cabin. To them in was their love cabin, cheesy but true none the less.

A month after the wedding Jassons parents left for Tortall after a long, tearful goodbye. For the next two weeks Jasson worried about them, worried about their journey. He also found himself suddenly incredibly homesick. A month after their departure he received two pieces of news.

One was a letter from Lianne, telling him all the news back home and informing him that his parents had arrived home safely. She also demanded to be allowed to visit soon.

The second piece of news was that Bethany was pregnant.

"Pregnant?" Jasson asked surprised as he and Bethany lay in bed. She'd just broken the news to him as tactfully as she could.

"Yes. The healers tell me I am a little over a month gone," she smiled at him happily, "We need to announce it soon or my mother will be hurt. She hates secrets, especially ones like this. She hated it when one of her ladies in waiting waited four months to tell her she was pregnant and she was only a lady in waiting."

"We can announce it tomorrow," he told her, his hand moving to rest on her pale stomach, "We are having a baby?"

"We are having a baby," she agreed.

"Which would you prefer? A boy or a girl?" he asked.

"A boy," she answered without hesitation.

"D'you know that wasn't the answer I was expecting," he told her truthfully.

"I know but…I just want a baby boy first. Then we can have a girl," she told him with her pretty smile. He nodded slowly. Secretly he had hoped she'd say girl so that if it were a girl they wouldn't have to try for another child. Then he wouldn't feel quite so bad about the fact that he didn't love her, that he loved Connor.

Eight months later Prince Connor married Lady Mary Elaine, a beautiful and charming young lady of the Royal Court. Chosen by her mother of course. She was twenty-two and older than both of them. And the old saying older and wiser was definitely true for her; she knew that Connor was only marrying her out of duty and honour. She accepted that.

"Love can't be arranged, marriage can, love can't," she told him on their wedding night, "So before we complete this thing I just wanna say that a discreet affair is better than a life of sadness and regret." Connor could only stare at her in shock. "You do understand what I'm saying don't you?"

"Y-Yeah. I just can't believe you actually said it," he told her truthfully.

"Well I did. And I hope you take up my offer. Because then I can do the same and we can both be happy together in marriage and happy apart in love."

From that moment she held a little bit of his heart, nothing compared to Jasson but she was still in there. And she always would be.

"It's a boy!" the cry was shouted over the balcony by a very excited aide and the crowd below cheered. Bethany and Jasson had had a son. Jasson smiled down at his exhausted wife, stroking her hair gently as she cradled their little boy her her breast. The little lad eagerly suckled for her milk.

"What should we call him?" Jasson asked as he stroked the soft tuft of hair already present on the babies little head, so fine he could almost believed he'd imagined it. "I'm afraid I haven't thought of any names."

"I have. I'd like to call him Donn," she said, gazing down at their baby lovingly.

"Donn," Jasson tested the name, "I like it."

"Hello Donn," she said to their son. And the name was confirmed in their eyes and soon, after a much more official announcement, the name was confirmed with everyone else. Prince Donn, son of Princess Bethany and Prince Jasson, was welcomed with open arms.

"You must be very proud," Connor said that evening as they celebrated privately with manly drinks in his and Mary's rooms. What everyone else didn't know was that manly drinks included snuggling naked on the bed after hot sex.

"I am in a way. It's made her so happy," Jasson said quietly, tracing imaginary patterns on the back of Connor's arm as it rested on his stomach. "And I'm happy too. I have a son. And he's adorable."

"Yes he is. Jasson…Mary's pregnant," Connor said quickly, "And doing the math she's figured out it is mine."

"Hang on yours?" Jasson asked, turning to look Connor in the face.

"She has a lover just like I have you," Connor explained, "We only have sex because it is expected of us to have children." Jasson's mouth dropped open in shock. "And in case you were wondering this arrangement was her idea. Of course she thinks I'm sleeping with a woman but hey ho."

"So you'll have a baby soon too," Jasson said quietly, "Our children will grow up together." Connor nodded. "That'll be nice."

**~ TEN YEARS LATER ~**

"Daddy!" the cry came from the five year old heir to the thrown as King Jasson entered the thrown room, suddenly finding himself with an armful of little girl. "I missed you! Did you have fun hunting with Uncle Connor?"

"Yes I did Princess and I missed you too," he said, kissing his only daughters forehead. After three sons Bethany had almost given up hope of having a girl. And then came Rosabella, a year before the Queen died and Bethany became the Queen of Blessa. And Jasson the King. So they had an heir and the sex between them stopped. "Hello boys."

"Hello dad," Donn, Oscar and Elliot called out together as they played a game, which involved wooden swords and shields. Typical boys. Donn would begin his Page training in a year and was unbelievably excited about it. Also playing with them were Connors two sons, Matthias and Rawley. They were a bit younger than their cousins, closer to Rose's age than the boys but they were still welcomed into all the games. Rose wriggled to be put down and skipped back to sit on the edge of the dais with Connor's daughter, the nine-year-old beauty called Sapphire. As ever the girls were playing with their dolls.

No one but Connor, Mary and Jasson knew that only Sapphire was Connors, the boys were Mary's lovers. Connor didn't mind.

"Welcome back Jasson. Did you catch anything impressive this time?" Bethany asked sceptically. Over the last few years her suspicions about his love life had grown. By now she was convinced he was having an affair. She knew that the hunting trips were a cover but not once had she suspected him of having an affair with Connor. He turned to smile at her, a completely fake smile only present for the children benefit,

"Yes we did my dear, we caught the largest buck of the herd," he told her proudly and this was truth, "We'll be eating it later for our dinner." She smiled tightly at him and swept from the room followed by her ever-present ladies in waiting.

"She knows," Connor's voice came from behind him.

"She's known for years. She just doesn't know whom. It's fine. To the public we are happy," he turned to face the love of his life, "and when I'm with you I truly am happy. And that is all I need."

"Hello boys," Mary said eagerly as she entered the room, "Good trip?"

"Very. I see you managed to survive without us for a week," Connor greeted his wife cheerfully with a gentle kiss. Mary was their best friend and they were hers.

"Just about," Mary laughed happily. They'd never told her who their lovers were but she wasn't stupid. And she was happy for them. Just like they were happy for her and Sebastian. "So…any good stories from this trip?"

"Well, there is one good one…"

A/N There we go. More soon. I promise. (Warning, unhappiness is on the way.)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own most of this, the wonderful Tamora Pierce does. Blessa and the people of Bless I do own as I created them.

**Warnings: Slash and towards the end a bit of violence and blood.**

A Secret Love

**Chapter 3/4.**

Winter was setting in again and the bad weather put a stop to their 'hunting trips'. So after nearly a month without each other the two daringly made an arrangement to meet inside the palace. They chose one of the guest rooms that rarely got used because of its location in the palace, above the noisy kitchens. The first time they were silent and careful. The second time, almost a full week later they were a little bolder, a little louder. Soon they were meeting there every other day and then eventually every day. Always at the same time too, just after the palace guards were changed in the evening.

They'd thought that no one had noticed their secret meetings.

They were wrong.

"Your highness? May I speak with you?"

"Speak," Bethany said, waving a hand to the young guard who trembled before her as she sat at the head of the table. Sitting with her at the long table were the heads of the Royal Court. They were discussing politics. All eyes were not on the handsome young guard, who swallowed loudly before speaking,

"Your Highness…you are very beautiful and wise and I do not wish to upset or insult you with what I have to tell you…"

"Spit it out boy! I haven't got all day!" Bethany snapped impatiently.

"The King is having an affair with a man," it came rushing out and there was a long moment of silence after he had spoken.

"What?" Bethany demanded in a shocked voice. She wasn't stupid, she'd known Jasson was having an affair for years. She'd just expected it to be a local tart…

"I saw the King doing…un-natural things with another man," the guard elaborated further, biting his lips with worry as she rose from her chair to face him.

"Who?" Bethany demanded, her hands clenching into fists at her sides.

"P-Prince Connor…"

"You're lying!" Bethany snapped immediately.

"I wish I were your highness," the guard trembled violently as he spoke sincerely, "I've seen them going into one of the spare rooms over the last month or so when I'm on my rounds in the evening. I-I didn't think anything of it until yesterday when I heard them…moaning. So today I…today I looked in the room and…they were…they were…" He shuddered at the memory. He'd been brought up by strict parents who had taught him the ways of the Gods and that teaching had repeated again and again that love between two men was sick and unholy. "It was wrong. I knew I had to tell you. They…They're in there now."

"Guards!" The guards at the doors rushed over to the now red-faced Queen, "Bring them to me! Now!"

This was not going to end well.

"Connor!" Jasson gasped loudly as the two moved together on the bed, "Please…harder…harder…!" Connor was obeying when the door was kicked open and half a dozen members of the palace guard rushed in, their swords drawn. The two naked men scrambled apart, covering their privates with whatever they could grab as they faced the guards. Normally either of them would have protested about the rude intrusion but…there was nothing that they could say to defend what they had been caught doing.

"The Queen has demanded to see you," one of the guards said coldly. Connor and Jasson looked at each other quickly, both thinking the same thing. 'She knows'. They hurriedly pulled on their leggings but the guards didn't even give them time to lace them up before they were being ushered out of the room at sword point. People stared at the bare-chested King and Prince as they were marched through the halls, the wide eyes following them in shock.

"I'm sorry," Connor said quietly just before they entered the throne where the meeting was being held. Jasson's hand grabbed his quickly.

"Don't be. I love you," he whispered back.

"As I love you."

And then they were standing before Bethany.

"So it's true," she commented, noticing their state of undress, "How did you find them?" This was asked of one of the guards. The guard trembled just as much as the one who had brought this to her attention had. Their Queen looked angrier than any of them had ever seen her; she looked ready to kill with her bare hands.

"They-they were…" the guard mumbled.

"Tell me!" Bethany screamed at him.

"They…"

"We were making love," Jasson answered for the guard, sounding far bolder than he felt. Inside he was trembling with fear. Not for himself. Fear for what she would do to Connor, to his children…oh Gods what would she do to their children?

"I didn't ask you!" she screamed at him. She looked to the guard,

"They were doing things…they shouldn't have been doing," the guard mumbled, looking down at his boots briefly. Everyone flinched as Bethany let out a scream of rage and moved quickly to stand before her husband and brother.

"You filthy beasts!" she screamed in their faces, "You are disgusting! You are wrong! Bind them!" This last shout was for the guard who used the strips of leather on their belts, kept there for just this purpose, to tie the two un-protesting gentlemen's hands behind their back. "How could you do this?"

"We love each other," Connor said quietly.

"That's not love!" she snapped at him, "That's…that's perversion!" Turning away from him she glared at her husband, "How long?" Jasson looked at her sadly and her hand slapped his cheek, loud enough to make a few of the women in the Royal Council wince, hard enough to snap his head to the side and leave a burning handprint on his skin, "HOW LONG?"

"Since I arrived here," Jasson answered. Bethany looked sick,

"You were with him before we were married?"

"Yes."

She turned her back on them then, glaring at the opposite wall instead as her brain processed the information at a rapid pace. Not only were they committing sodomy, a sin in the eyes of the Blessan Gods, they'd been doing it since before their marriage. He could have come to her bed after being with him…

"My Queen?" one of her handmaiden's asked worriedly as Bethany turned a sickly shade of green and placed a hand on her stomach. She waved the girl away angrily before turning back to the two men standing bare-chested before her. Her eyes found love bites on her husbands body that she knew her brother had put there, not her and she wanted to be sick all over again.

"You have committed a sin against the Gods. You have committed a crime against me and the people of Blessa. For this you will both die." Her voice was cold and the only emotion in it was anger. There were cries from the Royal Council but the two men she was sentencing to death said nothing.

"My Queen we cannot execute King Jasson, think of how Tortall would retaliate," one of Bethany's most trusted advisors had gotten up and spoke quietly in her ear, "Tortal's army is unfortunately bigger than ours and many would be killed in a battle over a man clearly not worth it." The woman looked at her King coldly.

"What do you suggest then? Treason cannot go unpunished," Bethany asked angrily, not looking at the woman but staring at Connor and Jasson.

"It is not treason to follow your heart," Connor said loudly.

"What you did was not following your heart!" Bethany screamed at him, "What you did was disgrace our family in the worst possible way with your sick little affair! Your _heart_ and _love_ had nothing to do with it," Bethany sneered at him.

"Might I suggest my Queen that you divorce… **him** ," the woman wisely didn't call him King again, fearing what Bethany would do now that her temper was really up, "And then banish him, send him home in disgrace. Let his people deal with his wrongfulness as they see fit."

"And him? The filth that has disgraced my family and made my mother turn in her grave?" Bethany asked, looking coldly at Connor who winced at the mention of their mother. He'd loved his mother and wanted to believe that she would not have acted as Bethany was now, should she have known. Bethany was reacting mostly as woman spurned by her husband, not as a just and fair Queen.

"Public trial."

"Yes," Bethany smiled evilly at her brother, "Let the public decide what to do with him. Organise this. I must go be sick now." She turned to leave but the woman had one more thing to say, something that finally had Jasson struggling against the guards and shouting in anger,

"What about your children? After all they came from **him** …"

"How dare you…!"

"Silence him!" Bethany snapped and a guard reluctantly gagged Jasson's mouth with his strong hand, "You have a point. Do I want children from that monster? They could turn out to be as disgusting as him…no. When he goes, they go with him. I never want to see them again." Jasson struggled enough to dislodge the hand and screamed after her as she walked away,

"Who are you? Queen Bethany of Blessa would never have punished her own children for something that they did not do!"

"Shut up!" the advisor snapped at him, "Be grateful, I just saved all your lives! Take them to the dungeons. And…put his children in with him."

"Have you no souls?" Jasson screamed as he and Connor were dragged from the hall by the strong guards. "They're children! Punish me yes but they are only children! Bethany please! They are your children!"

No sympathy was given and ten minutes after he and Connor were thrown into cells next to each other his frightened children were thrown into his.

"Daddy?" Rose asked in tears, crawling into his lap. Thankfully they'd freed his arms and he was able to hug his children close.

"I'm sorry my darlings. I'm so, so sorry…"

The divorce took three weeks.

"On your feet," the lead guard ordered calmly as he opened the door to Jasson's cell. He and his children had been confined to the cell for those three weeks, unable to change their clothes or wash. Their toilet was a bucket in the corner and their meals were dried bred and water, brought by a serving girl who wouldn't look them in the eye. "You are no longer married to her Highness and you and your children are banished from the Kingdom as of now. We are to escort you to your rooms. You will change and pack your things. Then you will be given two horses. If you are still in Bless after two weeks you will be killed on sight. Do you understand?" the guard asked as Jasson stood, pulling Rose up into his arms as the little girl whimpered in fear. His sons stood on either side of him, holding onto his shirt as they stare at the guards, also frightened.

"I understand," Jasson said quietly.

"Out of the cell," the lead guard ordered. Jasson moved slowly, his sons staying at his sides. Once out of the cell two of the guards took his sons by the arms, their grips a little too tight. All three boys whimpered, unused to the rough treatment from people who had used to protect them.

"Don't hurt them," Jasson pleaded as his sons were pulled away from him. The lead guard nodded to his two companions and their grips loosened. The three boys were pulled to the stairs out of the dungeon. The lead guard, left with Jasson and his daughter motioned with his hand for them to follow. "Wait, please…let us have ten minutes. To say goodbye." His gaze met that of his lovers as Connor clung to the bars of his cell.

"I'm sorry…" the lead guard began, sounding sorry as he spoke. It was then that Jasson realised these poor men didn't really want to be doing this, didn't want to be the ones to banish their King. And even though he knew the Gods would hate him (as if they didn't already) he used that to his advantage,

"Please, we might never see each other again. Let us say goodbye," the pleading tone in his voice had the guards sympathy increasing.

"I won't try and escape. I give you my word," Connor's tears were in his voice as well as on his cheeks. The guard actually winced as he heard the desperate tone in the Prince's voice. He couldn't look at either of them as he finally spoke,

"Ten minutes. I'll take the princess," he cut himself off and bit his lip, "Ill take your daughter up and we'll wait for you at the top of the stairs." He moved quickly and unlocked Connors cell. Then he reached out for Rose who whimpered and clung tighter to Jasson.

"Go with Peter darling, I'll be there in a little while," Jasson said gently to her, handing her over to the stunned guard. He could not believe that the King, or rather the ex-King could remember his name! He'd only told him his name once, years ago, when he had accidentally walked into the King and had been apologising. When the King had asked for his name he had been sure he was going to be in trouble but the King had merely wanted to know it so **he** could apologise properly for not looking where he was going. Slowly the guard took the little girl in his arms and left the cold dungeon. Once he was gone Connor rushed out of his cell and pulled Jasson into his arms as tightly as he could. Jasson hugged back just as hard.

"I love you. I love you. I will always love you…" Connor whispered as he covered Jassons face with kisses, "No matter what happens I will love you forever, in this life and the next." Fat tears were falling down both of their faces as they kissed frantically, hands pulling each other's body ever closer.

"I love you too. I love you so much, so very much," Jasson whispered, as he too pressed frantic kisses over Connor's face. Connor pulled back a little, his hands cupping Jasson's face as he spoke quickly,

"Promise me, promise me that whatever happens to me you will be alright. Promise me you will find someone who will love you and take care of you. Promise me you will live a long and happy life, promise me you will grow old and die in your bed surrounded by people who love you. Promise me…"

"I-I promise," Jasson sobbed, "But I also promise that I will never, ever love anyone as much as I love you. I could never love someone as much as I love you." The kissed again, hands clutching at each other's dirty shirts. "I don't want to leave you, I don't think I can leave you. What will she do to you?"

"You must go. You must take your children and go home," Connor was sobbing just as much, "I'll be with you, I'll always be with you. In here." He pressed his hand over Jasson's heart, feeling that fast beats of it beneath him palm, "No matter what happens to me I will always be with you." Kissing the man he loved more than his own life one more time he pushed Jasson away, putting all the strength he could muster into it so that Jasson flew back, stumbling to the foot of the stairs. "Go now, go and know that I love you."

"I love you," Jasson whispered tearfully one last time before he turned and rushed up the stairs, his heart breaking with each step he took. Connor walked into his cell, leaned his back against the wall and slid down to sit on the cold stone floor. His legs curled up of their own accord and his arms went around them, hugging them tight as he sobbed harder than he'd ever sobbed before into his knees.

Jassons return to Tortall was a surprise to everyone, not in the least because of his appearance. He was gaunt and pale and his eyes seemed almost dead. His children were tired and frightened of this new place they had never been to before.

"Jasson!" King Jonathon cried out, rushing down the steps from the palace as his son rode into the courtyard. Sitting before him on his horse was a sleeping Rose, her body wrapped in a fur coat to protect against the bitter winter wind. Jasson's sons were similarly wrapped on another horse that followed, all three of them squashed onto one horse. "Why did you not write and tell us you were visiting? To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"No pleasure," Jasson mumbled, not looking at his father, "And I'm surprised that you don't know." He slid down from the horse and then carefully took his daughter into his arms. Once his sons dismounted they came to stand close to him, their eyes on the ground.

"What has happened?" Jonathon asked worriedly.

"My wife has divorced me and banished me and our children from the Kingdom," Jasson said quietly. There was shocked gasp from everyone in earshot. "I have a letter for you, from her." He reached into the pocket of his cloak. It had been in his rooms when he went to pack for the journey and on the envelope it simply said; _To The King Of Tortall._ He was sure the letter inside would be equally as indifferent, nothing like the letters that had gone back and forth from them over the years. "We have travelled far and fast. May we please retire father?"

"Of course!" Jonathon gasped, taking the letter with a worried frown, "I'll have the servants prepare your room and some rooms for your children…"

"No need, they can stay with me for now," Jasson said quickly.

"Alright. Let's get inside out of the cold," Jonathon said gently, worried by the dead tone in his sons voice. He would read the letter later and see what this was all about.

A/N 2nd edit as I realised I forgot one of his sons. Whoops!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4/4.**

**Eight Years Later.**

Sitting outside the Chamber of the Ordeal waiting for his eldest son to either emerge victorious or…well…he tried not to think of the other option Prince Jasson looked much older than his years.

Since returning from Blessa his once beautiful hair had become dull and was heavily streaked with grey, even more so that his older brothers was.

His skin bore lines of grief and tension around his eyes and mouth that he desperately tried to pass off as laugh lines for the sake of his children, smiling brightly whenever they were around so that they would not feel the burden of his grief that he fought so hard against.

He had tried to move on like his love had commanded, had tried to be happy, to find someone that would make the grief in his heart lessen but…he couldn’t.

He’d taken five men to his bed in the first year but they had done little more than ease the physical needs he suffered from.

The ache in his chest had remained constantly throughout each encounter.

After that he’d simply stopped trying.

His only source of joy and happiness now, it seemed, were the lives of his children who had thankfully been able to adjust to their new life relatively easily.

Donn had completed his training as first a Page and then as Squire to Lord Alanna, the Kings Champion and first female Knight of the realm.

Sadly the events of his childhood had left him with a difficulty trusting people and as a Page that had led to him having very few friends.

However as he’d grown and matured he had slowly learnt to let people in and now, on the cusp of becoming a Knight, he was part of a loyal circle of friends who would do anything for each other.

Oscar, his second son, had been the first to adjust to their new life.

His personality had always been bright and cheerful, full of life and laughter with a talent for “infecting” people with his own happiness.

That had not changed when he had begun his training as a Page, his talent for inspiring laughter in others earning his quite the reputation as a joker.

However he was also a good student (mostly thanks to his older brother having such a perfect record that just _needed_ to be broken) and so when the time had come he had been chosen to be the Kings own Squire.

Elliot, his third son, had been the most affected by the flight from his home.

During that unforgettable journey he had been transformed from a little boy who was able to see the joy in everything and anything to a little boy who would barely look up from the floor, who hardly spoke above a whisper and who clung to his father’s side for fear of being taken away again.

He had not wanted to become a Page and Jasson had felt like an absolute monster for making him follow his brothers footsteps even though he knew it was what his son truly wanted but wouldn’t admit.

For months his little boy had hardly spoken to him and his heart had felt like it had been torn apart once more but then, after making a few friends and discovering that he was a naturally gifted swordsman his son had slowly begun to emerge from his shell and now was just beginning his new duties as Squire to Sir Gawaine, a boisterous Knight who would do him the world of good.

Rose, his beautiful little girl, was blossoming into an equally beautiful young woman and Jasson was preparing himself for the incredibly important job of scaring off completely inappropriate suitors.

Thankfully she was only thirteen so he had a couple more years to go before things got _serious_ as his daughter had put it once whilst discussing the important subject of her future and all that it included.

“Your Highness?”

The soft voice brought him out of his fond memories of his children, drawing his attention to the young woman who looked like she had been standing in front of him for some time, waiting for him to notice him before finally working up the courage to speak.

“A letter came for you.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

Reaching out he took the folded parchment from the young woman, smiling as she curtseyed politely before hurrying away.

Something told him she was relatively new to working in the Palace…

Looking down at the letter in his hand he was shocked to recognise the handwriting on the front as one he hadn’t seen in the last eight years.

His hands began to shake almost violently as he broke the wax seal before all but tearing the letter open, his eyes flying across the page as he read the letter he had been waiting for since he had been banished.

_My Dearest Friend,_

_I apologise for the length of time I have been forced to wait in order to write this letter to you but after your banishment things changed here._

_The Queen became little more than a tyrant._

_It pains me to say this but it is the truth – my friend disappeared the night that you were banished and in her place was left a cold hearted woman who felt no compassion at all, who believed herself to be above all others in every thing and who had more power than was good for her._

_Conner, my husband, the man that you love and loves you is alive._

_He was sentenced by public trial a week after you left and, instead of being sentenced to death like Bethany wanted; he was given life imprisonment and was transported to the Kapua Mine to serve out his sentence._

_I never expected to hear from him again._

_However last month everything changed thanks to the Revolution._

_The people of Blessa revolted against their Queen, taking her prisoner and placing Princess Meredith on the throne in her place._

_Currently the old Queen resides in the tower awaiting her own public trial._

_I fear that the people will not be kind to her._

_As Queen, Meredith has lifted all of the “unnecessarily cruel” laws that her sister imposed on the people and pardoned those whose “punishment was undeserved by the crimes that they had committed.”_

_Conner is free._

_He was brought home from the mines nearly a week ago however…he is not the same man that I remember._

_Eight years of hard labour underground has…I hate to use this word but I fear it is the only thing that fits…broken him._

_He will not look at me._

_He sits in the window of his old rooms, staring out at the horizon._

_He barely eats._

_He barely sleeps._

_His body is little more than skin and bones and I cannot begin to tell you of the abuse that is evident, the scars and the bruises._

_I hate to ask this of you as I know that what happened must have been incredibly hard for you and your children to get over but, if you still love him as I believe in my heart that you do, please come home._

_He needs you._

_Maryanne_

The letter slipped from his hands as the shaking got to be too much, his fingers refusing to grip any longer as a deep sob worked its way out of his mouth.

All these years he’d believed that…that Conner was gone…that he’d been…

“He’s alive…” he whimpered, bringing his trembling hands up to his eyes in an attempt to hold back the tears that threatened to escape. “Oh Gods…”

“Jasson?”

He looked up slowly, finding his older brother staring down at him somewhat fearfully, obviously not expecting to find him nearly hysterical.

“What’s wrong? Is it…no, the Chambers not open yet…”

“He’s alive.”

“Of course he is, Donn’s a good kid…”

“No…” he shook his head, gesturing to the letter that lay between his feet. “Conner…my…my Conner…he’s alive…”

And there went the last of his control, reducing him to hysterical sobs in the circle of his brothers arms, sobs that lasted the rest of the night and only just ceased before the Chamber of the Ordeal cracked open.

“Dad?”

Donn’s voice was weak, his eldest son stumbling out of the Chamber looking like he’d fought his way to hell and back.

“What’s wrong?”

Pulling out of his brother’s arms he gathered his son up in his, mindless of the crowd that had gathered to see his son emerge triumphant.

Donn held him steady as he pressed his face into his sons shoulder.

“Dad, you’re scaring me…”

Sucking in a lungful of air he pulled back and looked into his sons eyes.

“I’m so proud of you…” he whispered, more tears tumbling down his cheeks. “You survived your Ordeal and…and…”

“Dad…”

“Conner is alive.”

Donn gasped.

Of all his children it was his eldest who remembered his Uncle the most, remembered all the good times that they had together…and understood just what his Uncle had meant to his father.

“He…he’s alive…and…and I…”

“You need to go to him. Now.”

“No…you…you just passed your Ordeal…” Jasson protested, his wits slowly coming back to him. “I will…I will go once I see my son Knighted as he has just earned the right to be…and once I tell his siblings the truth about…everything…”

And so that evening before the ceremony that would welcome his eldest son into the ranks of the Knights of Tortall he took all of his children aside and told them his story from start to finish, filling in the many gaps he had left before such as the true nature of his relationship with Conner.

“Do you love him?” Rose asked softly.

“With all my heart…” he responded tearfully.

“But…he’s a man…” Elliot all but whimpered. “I don’t understand…”

“Men can love men, silly,” Rose snapped at her brother.

“I know, but…if you love Uncle Conner then why did you marry…?”

“Because I was told to…” Jasson sighed sadly. “And I don’t regret it. My marriage to your mother may have brought me much sorrow in those last few weeks but it also gave me you and I wouldn’t trade any of you for the world.”

“Are you going to move back to Blessa?” Oscar asked.

“…I don’t know…” he admitted softly. “For now I just…I need to see him…I need to be there for him…to help him recover from…everything…”

“I understand…” his son murmured.

“We all do…” Donn put in. “I would like to go with you.”

“No…”

“Please, dad, I want to make sure he’s all right as well. Plus, you need an escort travelling all that way. It can be my first official duty as a Knight.”

Jasson nodded.

“I want to come to.”

Turning to face his only daughter he prepared his protest but she cut him off,

“I want to help. I can continue to study to be a _lady_ just as easily in Blessa as I can hear, unlike the boys whose training would be completely ruined…”

“Hey!” Oscar and Elliot protested.

Jasson sighed.

“Unfortunately your sister is right. You are Squires – you cant go gallivanting off to another country and leave your Knights to fend for themselves…especially as one of them is my father, the King…”

Both boys pouted but eventually nodded in understanding.

“So that’s settled then – Donn and I are coming with you. I’ll go pack my things.”

Jasson caught his daughters arm before she could rush off.

“Could you at least wait until after you’ve seen your brother become a Knight?”

Thankfully Rose agreed.

Together the family watched as Donn received his Knighthood amidst cheers and cries of admiration, his handsome face betraying nothing of the worry that now filled his mind nor the anticipation of a long, hard journey.

“There’s no point in starting our journey at night,” Jasson told his children once the ceremony was over and they were preparing to retire for the evening. “We will leave after breakfast tomorrow.”

Donn and Rose nodded in agreement.

That night he didn’t even attempt to sleep, he packed his things and sat in his window reading the letter over and over again, tracing his fingers along the words until dawns rays lit up the room.

They left as soon as the horses were ready, Oscar and Elliot both promising to be on their best behaviour during their absence.

Pushing their horses to the limit the group (Jasson, Donn, Rose and two men of the Kings Guard) travelled night and day until they reached the Blessan border.

“Halt! Who dares to enter the lands of Blessa without permission?”

“Prince Jasson of Tortall…I was…I was asked to come…”

The group of border guards frowned and Jasson wondered if he should have sent a letter on ahead to warn them of his impending arrival.

“He is expected at the Palace.”

The voice was surprisingly familiar and came from a man who approached on horseback, dressed in the memorable uniform of the Blessan Royal Guard.

Jasson frowned across at the man.

“…Peter?” he murmured softly as recognition stirred in the back of his mind.

The man, Peter, smiled across at him.

“I told my wife you’d remember me, your highness,” Peter responded with a fond smile which Jasson was pretty certain was more for his wife than for them.

“How could I forget your kindness towards me?” Jasson asked softly. “You allowed me the chance to say goodbye to the man that I loved.”

Peter smiled.

“Her Majesty had a feeling that you would come back immediately,” Peter murmured. “I was sent to wait here for you…and somehow managed to arrive moments after you.”

“Obviously the Gods didn’t want us to have to wait,” Rose murmured with a smile, drawing everyone’s attention to where she was perched elegantly on top of her horse, her skirts fanned out perfectly so that they covered her legs and maintained her feminine modesty whilst riding side saddle.

“That’s never the little Princess…” Peter gasped softly.

“She’s not so little any more,” Jasson responded with a fond smile for his daughter. “My middle sons had to remain in Tortall with their Knight Masters – both of them are participating in their training as Squires now.”

“Squires…they do grow up fast…” Peter murmured. “My eldest is five and already talking about what he wants to do…although at the moment that is a magician…”

Jasson smiled.

He remembered those conversations.

Oscar had spent nearly a year determined to become a master of languages.

Thankfully Peter knew better than to suggest stopping for the night and instead suggested that they press on towards the palace with all available speed, only stopping once the light had begun to fade from the sky.

Sleep was a long time coming, as it had been since the arrival of the letter, and when he was finally able to drift off his mind tormented him with horrible images of what could have happened to his love during his sentence in the mines…

He woke with a gasp not long after the dawn, his travelling companions still sleeping as comfortably as they could around the long dead fire.

Wiping the tears from his eyes he slowly pulled himself out of his bedroll and set about silently packing up his things so as not to disturb the others.

They continued their journey after a quick breakfast, his children pretending not to notice the dark circles that were forming beneath his eyes.

As their journey continued Jasson found himself sleeping less and less, his mind tormented with nightmares.

By the time they were within sight of Lyndos, the Capital City, he could barely think straight he was so mentally and physically exhausted.

The sight that greeted them when they finally approached the city, however, was more than enough to wake him from his dazed state.

He couldn’t believe his eyes.

In his eight years of absence the once beautiful city of Lyndos had been reduced to a poor imitation of its former glory.

“…what happened?”

It was Rose who put voice to his shock, gasping loudly as the city from her childhood memories was distorted before her very eyes.

“After your supposed betrayal Queen Bethany began to take her anger out on the city and its people,” Peter explained sadly, nodding to one of the guards on the city gates as they were allowed through. “She became focused on building an army that would be strong enough to ‘destroy her enemies’ and she taxed her people in order to have enough money to do it.”

“I’m sorry…” Jasson found himself apologising, his eyes locked on a group of ragged children sitting at the side of the road. “I’m so sorry…”

They rode through the city under the watchful gaze of its half-starved people, murmurs spreading through the growing crowds like wildfire as they recognised the young man who was once their King.

As they approached the Palace Jasson was startled to hear people cheering.

“I don’t…”

“Your return is the final sign that the reign of the Mad Queen is over…”

The Mad Queen.

…they called her the Mad Queen.

Ahead of them the crowd parted, allowing them entry into the Palace compound where they were greeted by a group of eager stable boys.

“Prince Jasson.”

It was like he had been transported back in time to the first time he had graced the steps beneath his feet.

The familiar voice belonged to none other than Lord Rhyn Du Merc.

Jasson smiled warmly at the man that had served him well as Prime Minister during his time on the throne, aiding him in his duties as King whilst his wife focused on running the country.

“Rhyn…” he murmured, hurrying up the steps to shake the older mans hand. “It’s so good to see you. You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Oh, I think you’re being a bit too kind, Your Highness,” Rhyn laughed deeply, patting the roundness of his belly that hasn’t been there before.

Obviously the taxes hadn’t harmed his old friends love of food and beer.

“Queen Meredith await you in the thrown room.”

Jasson nodded.

They waited for Rose to dismount as carefully as she could, not wanting to make a fool of herself in her long dress by falling flat on her face.

Donn, ever the gentleman, offered his arm to his sister and led her up the steps to join their father.

Before Jasson could even think to offer his own arm she’d already slipped her free arm through his and calmly began to lead her father and brother into the Palace.

Peter chuckled.

“A true Blessan noble woman if I’ve ever seen one,” he murmured fondly.

Jasson couldn’t help but smile.

It was true, after all.

Rose wasn’t some simpering beauty waiting for a husband to take charge in her life and she never would be.

Instead she was a confident young woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it and Jasson couldn’t help but feel incredibly proud of his little girl.

Stepping into the large throne room was a bit of a shock to the system.

Everything had changed.

The platform was higher, the thrones larger and more decorative and the tapestries had been changed from peaceful scenes to battles.

“Presenting their Royal Highnesses Prince Jasson of Tortall, Prince Donn of Tortall and Princess Rosabella of Tortall.”

As one the family moved apart from each other and offered the figures sat upon the large thrones an effortless bow or curtsy.

“Jasson.”

Looking up at the young woman who had been part of his life, if only in the background most of the time before everything thing went…wrong Jasson found that he could only muster a small smile.

She had changed.

Her sisters tyrannical reign had obviously had a damning effect on Meredith.

She looked tired.

“It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, it has…” he agreed softly.

“I’m glad you’ve come back,” she announced with a smile so genuine that it lit up her face and Jasson felt his own smile grow a little wider.

His sister-in-law had always reminded him of Ellen, the Princess he had originally intended to marry.

“This is my husband, Luca. We were married the year after you…left.”

Jasson smiled at the unfamiliar young man sat beside the Queen.

“Congratulations.”

“Bethany arranged it,” Meredith explained with a grimace. “She thought he was loyal to her, you see, as one of her Queens Guards.”

“It’s amazing what falling in love does to a person,” Luca murmured, reaching out for his wife’s hand and holding it tightly in his own.

Meredith smiled.

“She planned to have me killed,” Meredith continued calmly. Beside her Luca stiffened with anger and Jasson couldn’t blame him at all. “She ordered Luca to kill me in my sleep, eliminating the threat of the child that I carry.”

 _“Threat?”_ Jasson spat out the word, grimacing as it left a bitter taste in his mouth. “How could an unborn child be a threat?”

“Bethany disowned her children and refused to marry again. Without a husband she couldn’t produce any more legitimate heirs…”

“…which made you the next in line to the throne,” he murmured in understanding. “What did you do?”

“I led the revolution against the Queen,” Luca answered tersely. “We had been discussing it for months, the other rebels as I, waiting for the right time…ordering me to kill my wife and child was the final straw.”

Jasson could understand that.

He just couldn’t understand how Bethany, his wife for ten years, could have changed so much.

“I’m sorry…” he found himself murmuring softly, his eyes filling with tears as he gazed up at the young woman heavy with child. “This is all my fault…I should never have…”

“No. This is not your fault.”

That wasn’t Meredith’s voice…

Turning slowly he felt the air rush out of his body uncontrollably as he faced the striking woman that had spoken from somewhere behind him.

“Mary…”

She all but flew across the hall to throw herself into his arms as his body literally crumpled, the pair of them dropping down to their knees.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”

Once Jasson had begun to apologise he found that he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried, sobbing into his friends shoulder as the damn on his emotions finally broke through the barrier he had constructed.

Mary rocked him in her arms, murmuring softly in his ear.

“It wasn’t your fault…you did not cause this…it’s ok…it’s ok…”

Moving slowly Meredith rose from her seat, accepting the arm her husband was quick to offer her as she made her way down off of the platform and over to where Donn and Rose were staring at their father full of worry.

“I don’t suppose you remember me…”

“Of course I remember you, Auntie Merry…” Donn cut her off with a slightly tearful chuckle. “You used to play with us when Mother was busy or Father was away. You taught me how to play Hopscotch.”

Meredith smiled.

“Yes, I did…”

Unlike her brother Rose had barely glanced away from the sobbing mess that had replaced their strong willed father, pressing a shaking hand to her pale lips as she witnessed something she’d never seen before.

She’d known her father had been unhappy.

She’d known he grieved for the loss of the man he loved.

But she’d never seen him break down like this before.

A hand came to rest gently on her shoulder.

“Your father will be all right once he has been reunited with his love, little one.”

Motioning to her attendants Queen Meredith ordered them to escort her niece and nephew to their rooms so that they could freshen up before dinner.

“What about father?”

Meredith smiled.

“Do you really think you’re father will want to wait even a moment longer to see the man he loves for the first time in eight years?”

So far gone in his grief as he was Jasson didn’t even notice when his children were ushered out of the room by their Aunt with the promise of a hot bath, fresh clothes and something light to eat to help them recovered from their journey.

“Come, my friend,” Mary murmured, helping him back to his feet before using the edge of her sleeve to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “He’s waiting for you.”

Brushing nervously at his rumpled travelling clothes, his hands shaking, he followed his old friend out of the large throne room.

“We thought it best to put him in the old tower so that he wouldn’t be disturbed by all the changes being made to the castle during his recovery,” Mary explained as they made their way through the familiar hallways.

“How bad is it?” he asked softly as they began their ascent of the winding staircase which would take them up to the rooms inside the old tower.

Mary sighed.

“I won’t lie to you, Jasson, it’s not good,” she explained softly as they continued climbing up and up until they reached the top floor of the tower. “He needs you to be strong for him. He needs you to look past…everything. Don’t let him down.”

“I won’t.”

Pushing open the door at the very top of the staircase Mary stepped into the surprisingly dark room.

“Still have the drapes closed, I see,” she murmured, making her way across the room to correct this issue, tugging the heavy drapes out of the way allowing light to floor into the semi-circular room that took up almost the entire top floor.

A gasp came from the figure buried under layers of furs on the large bed.

“…Jasson?”

He was across the room before he’d even thought about moving, throwing himself down onto his knees so that he could take the frail figure into his arms with a loud cry.

“Conner!”

Neither man noticed as Mary made a quick exit out of the room, tugging the door shut behind her.

For a moment all he could focus on was the fact that he once again held the man he loved in his arms.

“…please be real…please done…please be real…”

His heart clenched painfully as he realised what the other man was whispering into his chest.

“I’m real…” he murmured, tightening his arms around the too thin body. “I’m here…I’m here, my love…”

“…please be real…please don’t be another dream…I can’t…please…”

A sob burst out of his throat.

Murmuring reassurances over and over again he ever so gently released his hold on Conner, keeping one arm wrapped around him while the other moved to allow his hand to cup the trembling jaw, thumb brushing back and forth over the skin.

“I’m here…” he murmured once more before leaning down ever so slowly and pressing an achingly gentle kiss to the red lips he remembered so well. “It’s me…I swear it’s me…”

Conner froze, one shaking hand coming up to touch his lips before reaching out to rest his fingers over Jassons.

“You’re real…Jasson…you’re…you’re real…Jasson…my Jasson!”

The kiss that followed was reminiscent of the last kiss they had shared before his exile from the kingdom, full of desperation and passion and love, so much love.

“Yes, it’s me…I’m here…”

His hands roamed over the positively frail body lying on the bed in front of him, finding bones that shoulder never be as visible as they were and layered scarring that could only have come from repeated abuse.

He felt sick.

While he had been living in luxury, albeit miserably, his life had been systematically tortured and starved.

“I never thought I’d see you again…” Conner all but whimpered as his exhausted body slumped back into the mountain of pillows behind him. “I never thought I’d see the sky again let alone you…”

Jasson choked back a loud sob.

He needed to be strong.

“I’d given up hope of Bethany forgiving me…and then we heard of the riots in the city…the coup to put Meredith on the throne…”

His weak explanation was interrupted by a vicious bout of coughing that lifted his body clear off the pillows, his face turned an alarming purple colour before he was finally able to breath clearly again.

“…but even then I couldn’t bring myself to hope for freedom…”

Spying a bowl of water beside the bed with a soft cloth resting on its rim Jasson set about dipping the cloth into the cool water before ringing it out and laying it across Conner’s hot forehead.

He had a fever.

Jasson felt worry building rapidly in his stomach.

He had lost too many friends to various fevers and sicknesses over the years and he was damned if he was going to loose the man he loved.

“Thank you…” Conner mumbled, reaching up with a shaking hand to cup Jassons cheek as he set about wiping down the other mans face before returning the cloth to his forehead. “I used to dream of this…”

Jasson smiled.

“As did I…”

“…bet you didn’t imagine I’d be a cripple the next time we met…”

Jasson froze.

“What do you mean?”

Reaching down Conner tugged at the furs covering his legs, pulling them to one side to reveal the mangled mess that remained of his legs.

Jasson gasped, pressing a fist into his mouth to keep from gagging.

The wound were old and had healed into horrific looking scars, covering the twisted stumps that stopped just below the Princes knees.

“What…what happened?”

A single tear slipped down Conner’s cheek as he stared down at his legs.

“I was caught in a collapse a couple of years after I arrived at the mine…” he explained softly, his eyes haunted by what must have been a truly horrific memory. “My legs were trapped…”

“Oh Gods…”

“There was no other way to get me free of the rocks…”

Reaching out slowly, prepared for his love to stop him at any second Jasson ever so gently lay his hand across the nearest stump.

The uneven skin was tough.

“…how…how did…”

Conner cleared his throat uncomfortably, rubbing his hand up and down his arm as he answered the unfinished question.

“…a spade…and then…then one of the guards let them use his sword to…to heat up in the fire so they could…close the wounds…”

Jasson feared that there was a genuine possibility of him being sick as each horrific detail was softly explained by the man he loved.

“…I was feverish for days…I remember seeing you and the children…working beside me in the mine…during the collapse…”

Rubbing the tears from his eyes Conner forced himself to continue.

“…the fever broke and…and I got better…well…as much as I could without my lower legs…”

“…they put you back to work in the mines?” Jasson asked, horror making his voice sound hollow.

Conner nodded.

“…I’m sorry…I think I…”

Tumbling away from the bed, a hand pressed to his mouth he hurried into the bathroom and emptied the meagre contents of his stomach.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…this is all my fault…I never should have…”

A hand gripped his shoulder, making him jump as he turned to find Conner balancing on his stumps beside him.

“It’s ok…”

Jasson shook his head.

“It’s not…”

“Well…no, it’s not but it’s better than it could have been…” Conner pointed out softly, putting his arms around Jasson and holding him tight. “The Gods have returned me to your arms…that is more than I could have ever asked for…”

Pressing his face into Conner’s shoulder Jasson allowed himself to be held until he felt his love trembling, beginning to wobble unsteadily.

“What am I doing?” he asked himself angrily, shifting his grip so that he was supporting his love rather than leaning on him. “You should be in bed.”

“Only in you stay with me…”

“Always. Nothing will ever take me from you again. This I promise you.”

Lifting Conner into his arms, barely hiding his grimace at how pathetically light the other man had become he swiftly returned him to his bed, covering him with the thick furs before perching on the edge.

“How did you escape the mines?” he eventually found himself asking.

Conner smiled.

“Meredith,” he answered simply at first before elaborating further. “One of her first acts as Queen was to pardon me of the crimes I had been convicted of. She then set about helping the countless others who were treated just as unjustly.”

Jasson smiled.

Meredith would be a good Queen.

Like Bethany could have been if she hadn’t been so consumed by her anger and hatred.

“The new King himself came to fetch me from the mines, actually travelling below the surface when the guards tried to claim they couldn’t find me…”

His explanation was once again interrupted by a terrifying coughing fit that left him gasping for breath and reaching for the pitcher of water which was just beyond his reach.

Jasson hurried to pout him a glass of water and helped him sit up a little further than the pillows were already doing so that he could drink it safely.

“Thanks…”

Smiling Jasson took a moment to smooth the uneven hair off of Conner’s forehead before placing the glass on the table and returning to his previous position on the bed.

“I was being hidden by the other prisoners, you see, and that’s why they couldn’t find me originally.”

“Why were you being hidden?”

“Because I was already sick and had been for a couple of days,” Conner explained sadly. “A sick prisoner was an easy target for the guards.”

Jasson hummed in understanding.

“So when they saw this finely dressed noble wading through the mud and climbing over piles of slack…well…they couldn’t quite believe their eyes…”

“I take it he found you…”

Conner nodded.

“He refused to leave until someone took him to where I was hiding,” he explained with a fond smile. “He told them that I was his brother-in-law, that my sentence had been served and that he was there to take me home. Kol, one of the men who was helping me was the one to give me away un the end…”

“And he brought you home.”

Conner nodded.

“Has Mary brought the children to visit you?” Jasson asked as he busied himself finding the cloth from earlier, dipping it into the bowl of water once more before returning it to Conner’s flushed face.

“Not yet,” Conner answered. “She wants to wait until I’m feeling better.”

Jasson nodded.

“She’s probably right,” he murmured. “I still can’t believe we’re together again…I’ve missed you so much…”

“As I have missed you,” Conner responded, his eyes fluttering weakly as he fought off a yawn.

“You should sleep…” Jasson murmured softly, reaching out to smooth his hair back once more.

Conner’s grip on his other hand became almost painful.

“I won’t go anywhere,” Jasson promised quickly, leaning down to press a kiss to his dry lips.

Conner smiled.

“Join me?”

“I’m filthy…” Jasson responded with a hopeful smile for there was nothing he would like more than to join him.

“Do you really think I care about a little bit of dirt after spending eight years working in a mine?” Conner asked him, pushing him away briefly so that he could pull the furs out of the way. “Join me.”

This time it wasn’t a question.

Shaking his head fondly Jasson set about removing his boots, throwing them across the room before he rose to his feet and began stripping off his clothes until he stood in nothing but his shirt and small clothes.

Slipping beneath the furs beside Conner he made sure that they were both covered by the thick covers before offering his arms to his love.

Conner was quick to snuggle in close, wrapping his arms around Jassons waist as he lay his head down upon his first chest, right above his heart.

Closing his eyes Jasson found himself offering a silent prayer to whatever Gods were listening, thanking them for returning his love to his arms once more.

“I love you…” Conner breathed.

Jasson felt the ache that had present in his heart and mind for eight years slowly beginning to ease.

“As I love you…” he responded.

And together, for the first time in far too long, they slept safely in each others arms.

~ * ~ * ~

Having the man he loved returned to his side was apparently all the medicine that Conner needed, so much so that his rapid recovery from the illness that had been plaguing him was considered by some to something of a miracle.

His cough began to clear up after only a couple of days, his lungs finally fighting back against the sickness within them and within a week of Jassons arrival he felt well enough to join the rest of the family for dinner one evening.

"…father? Father!"

His daughters voice, so grown up and so like her mother's was enough to bring tears to his eyes as he was carried into the private dining room and lowered down into his chair.

Opening his arms wide he was soon "attacked" by his "little" girl who sobbed into his shoulder, apologising the whole time for her dramatics whilst explaining that she was just so happy he was ok.

Jasson had hung back, his arm slipping around his own daughter’s shoulders until the happy reunion had been broken apart by the arrival of the Queen and everyone had moved to take their places.

"It's good to see you up and about, brother," Meredith began the dinner conversation with a smile as the servants appeared with trays piled high with food.

Conner smiled.

"It's good to be up and about."

"I hope we'll be seeing more of you now that you've ventured out for the first time in months..."

She was teasing him with her prim and proper voice, he could see the twinkle in her eyes.

"Perhaps we might even be able to convince you to take part in the Midsummer Celebrations in a couple of weeks," Meredith suggested lightly before turning her attention and conversation over to her husband, her hand absently coming down to rub at the swell of her belly.

"What happened to your legs?" Rawley, the youngest person at the large table asked softly, his voice trembling as his eyes kept glancing back and forth between Conner's face and his legs, partially hidden by the table itself.

"Rawley!"

"Sorry, Mother..."

“What have I–”

Conner interrupted his ex-wife before she could launch into one of her well practised lectures about the proper manners expected of her children,

“It’s all right, Mary, he has a right to ask...” he murmured softly, smiling at the handsome young man he had once considered to be his son. “However perhaps this isn’t the right time…”

Rawley flushed.

After that first dinner with his family it was difficult to get Conner to rest at all.

The first time he was seen walking around the Castle on his stumps a maid reportedly fainted from the shock and had to be brought round by the use of smelling salts.

Of course Conner found this all rather amusing.

"You all act like I shouldn't be able to move," he commented after dinner that night after an update had been brought of the maids condition.

"Well you have lost your legs," Rawley pointed out softly.

"Yes, I have," Conner agreed. "Years ago. I've been working in a mine since then. I can walk perfectly well on my stumps. I can even run if the occasion calls for it."

"But...doesn't it hurt?" Sapphire asked softly.

"It did at first but the scar tissue has toughened up pretty well over the years. I mean, yeah, I'll have a bad day or two when it's particularly cold but normally it won't be a problem."

And it wasn't.

Everyone slowly got used to seeing him walking around the Castle on his stumps and the Royal Tailor even designed a pair of properly soled protectors to make it easier for him.

"These are amazing," he told Jasson one day a month after their reunion as they took a stroll through the garden. "I can hardly feel the ground through them and the flat bottom makes it so much easier to balance properly."

Jasson smiled.

It wasn't just Conner that was improving before everyone's eyes.

Jasson had smiled more in the last months than he had in the last year, meaning that those lines around his eyes could actually be attributed to his happiness rather than his sadness.

His gaunt figure was filling out as he began to enjoy meals once more rather than simply eating what his body needed him to in order to survive.

"We're good for each other, you know that?" he asked softly, coming to a stop at a pretty little bench hidden away in the far corner of the large garden.

Conner smiled, pulling himself up onto the bench beside the other man before taking his hand.

"Yes, I do."

"...I can't stay here."

The words blurted out before he could stop them, bringing forth a startled gasp from Conner.

"I mean...my children...their home is Tortall now..."

Conner had gone pale.

"You wish to...leave?" he asked weakly.

"No. What I'm trying to...what I mean is...will you come back to Tortall with me?"

The question of their future had been bugging him for the last few days.

He had considered staying here with the man he loved but every time he did he would be tortured with the thought of dragging his children away from their home for the second time in their life.

Combined with the painful memories they would have of their old home and...

"...what?" Conner breathed.

"I can't force my children to leave their home again," he blurted out, clinging onto the other mans trembling hand as though his life depended on it. "But...I can't be parted from you. Never again. If...if you came back with me...we...it..."

"What would your family say? What would your people say?"

"I couldn't care less what they say about me," he said firmly, placing his free hand over the back of the hand clasped tightly in his own. "You and my children are all that matters to me right now."

Conners eyes watered visibly.

"...what about Meredith?" he asked softly. "And Mary? And...the children?"

"I've been speaking with Meredith about reinstating the Alliance between our two countries, strengthening it in fact so that it was even better than before. More lenient rules for trade and such, less of those silly little rules that Bethany (check?) put in place."

He hadn't mentioned his idea in anything more than passing but the young Queen had eagerly latched onto the idea, knowing that in order to rebuild her country to its former glory she would need all the allies she could get.

"And Mary and the children will always, **always,** be welcome in my home...in our home..."

Conner swallowed, a tear falling down his cheek.

"Our home..." he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, "I...I like the sound of that...I like the sound of that a lot…”

"As do I..."

They left the subject open for the next couple of days as Conner deliberated over where he wanted to live in the future - his childhood home or somewhere unknown.

If he was honest anywhere would be an improvement on his home for the past eight years...

"Where would we live in Tortall?" he finally asked one night as they lay together in bed after a creative evening of making love, their chests rising and falling in sync as the sweat cooled upon their heated skin. "If I agreed to follow you there...where would we live?"

"In the Royal Wing of the Castle," Jasson explained softly. “But we could…we could always get somewhere new…somewhere that’s ours…”

“Somewhere that’s ours…” Conner repeated, equally as soft. “I…I like the sound of that…a place that’s ours…perhaps…perhaps somewhere that’s…”

“That’s a little…?”

“…closer to Blessa than your home is so…so that there’s less distance for everyone to travel when they…when they visit…”

Jasson smiled.

“That…that sounds perfect…” he agreed softly. “…absolutely perfect…”

~ * ~ * ~

 **A/N** Wow. This chapter has literally taken me forever. It’s sat in my ‘To Do’ file for ages and ages and ages but here it is. Just the **Epilogue** to go now…

 **A/N** Ok, so the original plan was for this to be a proper Epilogue but not only was it too confusing to write once I had figured everything out it would have been nearly impossible to follow and longer than any of the other chapters. LOL. So instead I give you the life and times of Jasson and Conner in historical timeline format. Enjoy!

 **441 –** Prince Conner of Blessa is born

 **444 –** Prince Jasson of Tortall is born

 **464 –** Jasson travels to Blessa for an arranged marriage

 **464 –** Their secret affair begins

 **464 –** Jassons intended bride, Crown Princess Ellen, dies _(aged ??)_

 **464 –** Jasson marries Princess Bethany and the new heir to the throne

 **465 –** Conner marries Mary Elaine, a noble born

 **465 –** Jassons son, Donn, is born

 **466 –** Conners daughter, Sapphire, is born

 **468 –** Jassons son, Oscar, is born

 **469 –** Jassons son, Elliot, is born

 **470 –** Conners son, Matthais, is born _(not actually his)_

 **471 –** Jassons daughter, Rose, is born

 **4** **72 –** Queen Salina dies suddenly _(aged 42)_

 **472 –** Princess Bethany ascends to the throne

 **472 –** Conners son, Rawley, is born _(not actually his)_

 **475 –** Conners father, King Rupert, dies in his sleep _(aged 49)_

 **476 –** Their affair is discovered by Queen Bethany

 **476 –** Jasson and his children are banished from the Kingdom

 **476 to 484 –** Jasson and his children live in Tortall

 **476 to 484 –** Conner is sentenced to hard labour in the Kapua Mines

 **484 –** Jasson receives a letter informing him that Queen Bethany, his ex-wife, has been overthrown and that Prince Conner is alive

 **484 –** He and his children _(Donn and Rose)_ travel to Blessa

 **484 –** He is reunited with Conner and stays to nurse him back to health

 **484 –** Once Conner is well enough to travel the make their way to Tortall

 **484 to 486 –** They live together in the Palace while their new home is built

 **486 –** They move into their very own castle situated near the border of Tortall

 **486 –** Donn marries Eliza de Bergerac, a noble born of Tortall

 **487 –** Oscar marries Perdita Monstrovzova, a noble born of Tyran

 **488 –** Oscars son, Alexis, is born

 **488 –** Sapphire marries Nahuel Kaydet, a noble born of the Copper Isles

 **489 –** Donns son, Quinn, is born

 **490 –** Rose marries Michael St Vincent, a Knight of Tortall

 **490 –** Oscars son, Hixas, is born

 **490 –** Sapphires twins, Victor and Violet, are born

 **491 –** Oscars son, Olaf, is born

 **491 –** Elliot marries Mira Constantinova, a noble born of Blessa

 **4** **92 –** Roses daughter, Nora, is born

 **493 –** Matthais marries Alice Brownthorn, a commoner of Blessa and his son, Crixus, is born four months later

 **493 –** Elliots daughter, Juno, is born

 **493 –** Oscars son, Kristoph, is born

 **494 –** Roses son, Esca, is born

 **495 –** Rawley commits to Agron

 **495 –** Elliots son, Dafyd, is born

 **496 –** Matthais is killed in a bar room brawl with his wife’s lover who is hung for murder _(aged 26)_ and his son is taken in by Rawley and Agron after being abandoned by his mother, Alice

 **496 –** Oscars son, Nasir, is born

 **497 –** Elliots daughter, Susanna, is born

 **497 –** Donns son, Marcus, is born

 **498 –** Roses daughter, Lana, is born

 **499 –** Conner gets sick

 **499 –** The marriage laws of Tortall are changed to allow homosexual marriage

 **499 –** Jasson and Conner marry in a private ceremony

 **500 –** Conner dies, aged 59, and is laid to rest beneath his favourite tree

 **501 –** Elliots son, Peter, is born

 **506 –** Oscars wife, Perdita, suffers a nasty fall and dies giving birth to their daughter, Poppy _(aged 38)_

 **510 –** Quinn marries Satsukami, a noble born of the Yamani Islands

 **512 –** Quinns son, Conner, is born

 **513 –** Alexis marries Violet, his “honorary cousin” of Blessa

 **514 –** Jasson gets sick

 **515 –** Hixas marries Koda Sibylla, a noble born of Blessa

 **515 –** Alexis’ twins, Elspeth and Elijah, are born

 **516 –** Jasson dies, aged 72, surrounded by his children, grand-children and great-grand-children and is buried beside his husband in the garden so that they could rest together in peace

 **A/N2** Thanks for trading and I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Can’t believe how long it took me to finish this “quick” story that I came up with…  



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